these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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