Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
