watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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