I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
