I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
