if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
