Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
