This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
