The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
