Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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