He had one of those small greek statue penises
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
