Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize