I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
