I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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