wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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