hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
