so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
