D3 body, D1 cock
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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