What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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