Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
