he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Two words: blizzard sex
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
