You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
