I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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