I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
