She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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