Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
