the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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