8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
