I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
