i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
