U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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