Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
