Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
