it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
