I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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