there's paper in my vomit.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
