.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
