And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
