I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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