he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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