I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
