Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
