You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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