Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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