If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
