I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
