He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
