i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
