OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
