My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
